The Way Beyond Me
Leaving behind what doesn’t work in our lives often requires going through a process of deep inner and outer transformation. The process offers no guarantees. The only prediction we can make is that it will be at times challenging and the price could be as high as the potential rewards. Whether you feel called to initiate this journey, or you find yourself in need of tools to navigate a process that has already started, read carefully this page.
What is Me
We can look at Life as a process of unfolding, discovery, and evolution of oneself over time. When we are not satisfied with how our lives are unfolding or how we are showing up, we feel the urge to find a solution, to improve things, or at least shake things up and see what happens.
Whether this is a quick fix, a compromise, or a deep transformational journey is a very personal and subjective decision. The quick fixes and the compromises we make with our selves – cigarettes, junk food, porn, internet, or distractions in general – help us maintain the idea of ME we already have and offer us some crutches and enough stability to conduct our lives to the best of our abilities.
No one person’s path is like another and it’s hard work, unpredictable, and in a sense, dangerous. Finding out that we are not what we thought leaves us naked, vulnerable, and uncertain to how to relate to ourselves and our own world. And in response, we have to develop the ability, resilience, and wisdom to navigate our new life paradigm.
Cycle after Cycle
Transcending all that has failed us before knowing what will replace it and without any assurance that it will work, is a process that requires courage, persistence, and in many cases is fuelled by sheer desperation. When we have tried everything else, we have nowhere else to look but inside. Every cycle in this process has the potential to expand our sense of love, freedom, wisdom, fulfilment, happiness, equanimity, compassion, and awareness. But we’ll never be immune
of patches of depression, grief, anger, sadness, uncertainty and addictive behaviours. Whether this is the inevitable price to pay, or simply the evidence we haven’t mastered the process yet, it’s a matter of debate.
Follow the Truth At Your Own Pace
A good principle is to follow the truth and act accordingly. Open minded but sceptical. Daring, but with caution. Following the truth is not an easy task. But the truth is also plural and its many expressions that exist at the same time can be confusing and paradoxical. We might have to follow the truth that change is required, but we might make space for the other truth that a slower pace is more appropriate given the circumstances. Living with the partial inconsistencies of our choices takes it toll on our desire to have certainties. The conundrums are inescapable and only the individual can take responsibility of having to go through them. There is no solution to that.
The Whole is made of many parts
Another way of looking at this process is going towards our own wholeness, an overarching idea strong enough to bridge and keep together all our fragmented opposites, all our sub-personalities, our conscious and unconscious worlds, what is driven by values and what is driven by biology. There is nothing more difficult than finding, defining, and fine-tuning that core set of values, beliefs, and never changing truths to hold together our Whole Self.
Recklessness or Courage
There is a big problem with this work of growth, self-transformation, and self-transcendence. Nobody can predict for sure what the consequences will be and what is the price that we’ll be asked to pay. It can be as little as changing our eating habits, or as big as letting go of relationships or careers. Ultimately, we have to learn to own our choices and to take responsibility for their consequences. Sometimes we intuit the price we have to pay and we gather the courage to take the risks. Other times we underestimate the journey ahead and we are then faced with unfolding that seems even more difficult than what we had just escaped.
The Price of Growth
As we grow stronger, wiser, more free, and more able to create love and connection, the more our responsibilities increase and the more pressure we face. As we become more connected with our inner wisdom, more of our shadows and ultimately the human collective shadow will present itself. The dance between surrender and free will is beautiful when artfully executed, but it requires vigilance and a constant training.